blogging from my uni, today's just my second day back in uni and i'm already feeling tired. i know i say this everytime we start a new semester but the fact is that it is getting worse with each passing semester - i've lost the zest to continue studying.
somehow, studying here doesn't seem as interesting as it used to be during my first semester. maybe because that's all i've been doing for the past 3 years - studying. although the subjects get tougher with each passing year, the surrounding gets more cramped as well.
someone told me it's because of the lack of recognition here. it doesn't matter if u score an A or a D, no one gives a damn. personally, i dun care bout that although i have to admit sometimes it disappoints me. all this while i use this speech instead, "you should be studying for yourself, your future. getting an A should give you all the satisfaction any reward will give... blablabla...", ok... i admit it sounds crappy but that's the best i can come up with.
my main prob - i still dun feel at home here. especially when i'm alone. ah... such a simple word but yet so, so very cold. alone. after 3 years in this uni, sometimes i still find myself sitting alone, waiting for time to flash by but as it always is, the seconds ticked by ever so slowly. it's just frustrating.
i dun think of the past anymore. not as much as i used to anyway. but not thinking of the past doesn't make the present any better as well... damn...
anyway, i guess i'll stop here...i just needed to let some steam out. i'm not complaining bout my life and i definitely do appreciate my life as it is. and i'm sure i'll start enjoying my studies again... i just dunno when...
somehow, studying here doesn't seem as interesting as it used to be during my first semester. maybe because that's all i've been doing for the past 3 years - studying. although the subjects get tougher with each passing year, the surrounding gets more cramped as well.
someone told me it's because of the lack of recognition here. it doesn't matter if u score an A or a D, no one gives a damn. personally, i dun care bout that although i have to admit sometimes it disappoints me. all this while i use this speech instead, "you should be studying for yourself, your future. getting an A should give you all the satisfaction any reward will give... blablabla...", ok... i admit it sounds crappy but that's the best i can come up with.
my main prob - i still dun feel at home here. especially when i'm alone. ah... such a simple word but yet so, so very cold. alone. after 3 years in this uni, sometimes i still find myself sitting alone, waiting for time to flash by but as it always is, the seconds ticked by ever so slowly. it's just frustrating.
i dun think of the past anymore. not as much as i used to anyway. but not thinking of the past doesn't make the present any better as well... damn...
anyway, i guess i'll stop here...i just needed to let some steam out. i'm not complaining bout my life and i definitely do appreciate my life as it is. and i'm sure i'll start enjoying my studies again... i just dunno when...
ps: i expected to be bombarded for my thoughts on the previous blog but i guess i was wrong...
4 comments:
hey nic..don't worry
jjohn nash went thru princeton uni without much friends too..only a few imaginary ones...he did quite well after that naywya..hahaha.
actually everyone also have their own friend in different enviroment, just that you can't let go your secondary skul fren too much.
what does that mean? that one should just keep forgeting old friends to make new?
RT
for me, my new frens will never match my older frens. maybe it's the circumstances in which i've met them and the times that we've been true. so in that sense, my old frens will never be forgotten... =)
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